New Year

Happy new year. Once this time of year comes along people start dieting, start clearing out their closet, start living how they *want* to live, stop putting everything off. Everything is new and fresh and wonderful and you can do anything you want, be anything you want to be and it's great.

If you are one of those people where everything is the same, nothing is shiny and new, and it's hard enough to just do what you're doing without starting something new, then those people who have a new shiny outlook on life start to piss you off. A lot. It also starts to make you feel like you've failed because you haven't had some sort of awakening that has left you with a new outlook on life.

But that's bullshit. Make sure you remember that. Because you will try to stretch yourself to other peoples' ideals, you will believe that things really are wonderful and you're just not seeing it, you will try and pry yourself free of your comforts in an effort to be like those people who seem so happy. But don't be convinced to let go too soon. Just because you want to be where those people are, it doesn't mean you're ready to be. And that's OK. Some people can dive into the deep end right away, and some people need to work their way from the shallow end. But either way is fine, as long as you keep yourself from drowning.

Holiday stress fest

Apologies that i haven't written in a while. What with the holiday, i had a lot of family around and the rest of the time i was working overtime, since the holidays are our busiest time of year. This also means i've had about 2 months of almost nontstop stress, which prevented me from writing. Of course, that's exactly when i SHOULD be writing but i had very little time. BUT again, i'm going to try to get back to posting once a week.

I think it's pretty important that i do because some sort of routine would be good since i think i've got a case of the winter blues. I was talking to a friend who works in retail about this, and i think part of it is having to do ALL THE THINGS and constantly moving for months - and then having more time suddenly, and it's like your brain just doesn't know how to handle it. I also have sometimes wondered in my depression might be seasonal, but i'm not sure. But the last couple days have been so ridiculously cold out that i've sort of been trapped inside with all my thoughts...and when i have this much stuff going on in my head, that's not the best thing. Especially since i sometimes walk off my stress. And let me clarify, when i say it was cold, i mean it was -15 degrees today, and that's not the windchill. They have been referring to Chicago as Chiberia, and it honestly looks like Hoth out there right now. It should have been a hang around in my pjs and watch movies day, but as i said before, i'm very bad at letting myself relax. I'm hoping with the new year i'll get better with tha, but so far this new year has been pretty depressing. And tonight i just started freaking out about all of that. So i made cookies. I don't feel that much better, but at least have cookies. And sometimes i think that's all you can do.