I opened up my guitar case and all the songs were blue

I originally set out to update this blog at least once a week. As you may have noticed i have already failed at that, but I've getting busier and I've been ill for quite some time. But even though things have been getting crazier, the thoughts in my head won't go anywhere if i don't let them out, and the illness is stress induced, so the bottom line is i need to write more and chill the fuck out. But it's when i finally have the time that my mind runs blank. So I'm going to post something that's been a long time coming.

I've been meaning to write this post for a long time. Like a really long time. I started drafting it right after the event and then just kept putting it off and putting it off like i do sometimes. And it's been like....a few months now. And I've been feeling pretty low lately, so i guess this is as good a time as any to write about something i love. Heads up - this is gonna be a long post....

So at the end of July i went to a killer concert. I actually saw two concerts - i had 2 shows this summer I'd been planing to go to for a while and they both ended up being on the same weekend. When i was fighting a pretty severe chest cold and had nearly lost my voice. Go figure. The second show was a local guy who'd been on American Idol that my friend wanted to see, and he was really good. I felt a bit odd in a room full of women fangirling over this pseudo celebrity(Since that's really not my scene). But he was really good. Sounded like if you crossed John Mayer's voice with Mumford and Sons(yes, there was a banjo).

But the first show....wow. The concert i saw that Friday was one i had been looking forward to for months and months. I had already decided that if i couldn't find anyone to go with me, social stigmas be damned, i was going alone. Hell, i barely slept the night before and i was still seriously ill, and people told me that maybe i should stay home and get well.But was GOING to that show. I just powered through work and drank several cups of coffee and an energy drink. Ya know, because that's healthy.

So the show was for a guy named Gregory Alan Isakov. If you don't know who that is, I'm not surprised. He's not very mainstream, but he's one of the most talented musicians I've ever heard. I met up with my friend for the show, and she had never heard him before, but she's always up for some good indie music. The concert was pretty amazing. One of my favorite things about seeing live music is that i can actually feel the vibrations in my chest and in my bones. It's almost like a harmonic heartbeat. He started out with a a solo song  called "She Always Takes it Black" that was sad and sweet and heartbreaking, and then continued with an amazing cover of "Mama, You Been on My Mind." The rest of the show he played with a band that included a violin and a banjo(apparently this was my weekend of banjos). The best description i can give it is Americana indie folk. At one point they stepped away from the mics to the front of the stage to play it acoustic and they had a really amazing harmony going. During one of the last songs(before the encore) i started to tear up a little because it moved me so much - which is something i don't think I've ever done at a live show. But the whole time i had a ridiculous grin on my face.

After the show i asked my friend if she minded if we waited around to possibly talk to him. If you've never been to a small concert, meeting the musicians isn't that hard to do, as long as you're willing to wait around for a while. My friend said she didn't mind, but i warned her that she would likely see the fangirly side of me. I don't think I've ever been so nervous and excited to meet anyone in my life. Perhaps the first time i met The Alternate Routes, but that happened by accident, so i didn't have as much time to freak out. I had to wait a really long time because there were a number of people who wanted to talk to him, so by the time i was 2 people away i was pretty much freaking out. He was a lot shorter than i expected, as well as being very quiet - i got the impression he's either rather shy, despite being a performer. When i finally got to meet him, i introduced myself and proceeded to babble like a complete idiot and get all fangirly. I tripped over my words telling him how much i love his music and how heartfelt and inspiring it was, and i said inspiring a few too many times and at one point i was so excited and flustered i actually forgot what i was saying mid-sentence. Yup. At this point my friend jumped in and introduced herself, saying how i'd brought her and she'd never heard him before but that she loved the show. When i regained my ability to  speak i told him how wonderful his new album was and that there wasn't a song of his that i didn't love. And because the bar was full of loud people and he is very soft spoken, he leaned over to talk in my ear, which of course made my heart jump. And he said "Well that's the goal. If i can go home at the end of the day and still like a song, i think I WIN!!" I shyly asked if he would signed my copy of the new album and if i could get a photo with him, and he agreed. He seemed rather shy and even his smile was subtle, but he seemed excited to meet us and he responded very graciously to my ridiculous babbling. After we left i couldn't stop smiling. As i waited for the train, my friend and i talked for a while about the show and the songs and what they meant and i left with this feeling of complete clarity. Music seems to be an essential part of maintaining my mental and emotional health.  It can calm me and heal me and make me feel like myself again. And a good live show can lift my spirits and obliterate my anxieties in a way that makes me feel like i've taken some sort of miracle drug. I had been waiting to see him play for 2 years, and it was everything i had hoped for. For a couple months prior to this show, my depression and stress ans anxiety had increased dramatically, one feeding off the other, but when i walked out of that show, it was the first time in ages that i felt like i could breathe again.


It only seems fair to end this post with some music, so here's what i will leave you with:

I'm not dead!

Apologies for my long absence. Work has been crazy, and i've been rather ill as of late. So i am still here, and you can expect a big fat post within the week(hopefully the next couple days). It's one i've been meaning to write for ages, and it touches on the name of my blog, something that cheers me up, and one of my favorite things to ramble about: music.